I break my own heart
My little black flower
These cold mornings I walk with my hood up,
Snow glaring, solid streets coated in ice.
Crystal. It’s like crystal.
Pushing more miles behind me
Is all I can do
I don’t know where I’ll end up
I cannot pay attention
But to the absence of love
What has love been but
Little black petals I plucked and dried
What has love been but a dance I tired of;
My own skin, untouched in almost a decade
A woman should not go this long.
A human should not go this long.
I dream of pressure and forms as solid
As the snow beneath me;
I dream of water
And the absence of loneliness.
I expand. I absorb. I am in full bloom
This little black flower.
And it feels beautiful but needs witness,
I tire of myself
Sucking up silence like the ocean.
I want to say to you
See me. See me.
But no one is there;
blue shadow on the snow.